my mood is totally matching the weather today. just feeling pretty depressed and rejected today.
im not exactly wallowing in self pity, but im certainly no life of any party either. but hey, at least im not one of those dumb bitches who cuts myself so people witll take notice and then feel all sorry for me cuz im so fucked up. i gotta laugh at those fools, sorry, butits not becuz im a callous bitch, its just cuz i think that they are full of shit and do it for attention rather than just not being able to deal with emotional pain.
as for me, right now i am taking refuge in my headphones. i dont think i could live without music. its such a powerful thing and theres so much of it out there that one can always find something to fit any mood.
i didnt think id get so much use out of a mp3 player in my present life. always thought if i still lived in nyc id get an ipod, cuz i was always carrying around my cd player and some cds. an ipod or something similar would have been very handy, but i didnt realize how much i still need my tunes, even when im walking around and interacting with my family i can have my own personal soundtrack. so awesome. and when im feeling like i want to shut them out, im too old, and my kids are too young to go lock myself in my room, buti can escape for a while with my headphones. its such an important thing for my psyche sometimes.
its like my one little luxury that i can actually take for myself and not feel too terribly guilty about it.
god i love music!!!!
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I think I have a song and an artist for every mood. Sometimes I have to alter my mood by listening to something that'll put me in a more appropriate state of mind. Lately I can't handle my life without my ipod in hand--it seems like you and I are the same. I either need a book or music to escape and it seems like I need to escape more often than not lately.
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